Thursday, April 29, 2004
fan
I shuldz be so lucky
I has met one of my fans this week, in a bar, I has been aksed nots to reveal the exact details of da place, and not to mentions anythings about the attire of the clientele, nor the nature of the establishment where I was meeting my fan, you can sees in the pitcher she woz oozing sex, she woz wantings my body, wanting some humpy pumpy, I is not saying if she was so lucky or not, but she has told me she cant gets me out of her head, theres a lot to be said about head, buts I is not going to say it, but she was gagging for it!!! anyways, needless to say I has been a little bits sidetracked, as soon as I is needing some recovery time, I will tell you more
love Gordie xxx
# posted by gilly : 2:08 PM
Monday, April 26, 2004
a what job
Me and the boys went off the beaten path, and found a club, it had been listed in the alternative tour guide, and one or two of my boys woz wanting to go checks it out, its a free love place, for all types of peoples. Well when we woz sittings in there , a guy comes and sits next to me at the bar, he has been back packing for a few months, saved his giros up, and gots a cheap ticket, he is from liverpools and is saying somethings about going back to his roots. Well anyways we is drinking a few beers, when this hunky guy stands at the bar next to him, and is looking out of the corner of his eye,at the scouser. having got his drink he leaned in close to the scoser and whispered in his ear,' Hello pretty boy, do you want a blow job'... the scouser stands up quick as lightening, head butts the other guy and pushes him towards the door.I pulls the scouser back, hey mate, whats wrong I said, what did he say that was so terrible, the scouser, red faced, looked at me, I couldnt really tell cos of his accent, but he said something about a job........bastard!!!
# posted by gilly : 12:05 AM
Thursday, April 22, 2004
we have dem bigger, back home
We has been staying on a farm for a few days, well it is sorts of a farm come bed and breakfast type place, they has fields and sheeps and cows and grow things and stuffs, but they also has people there on vacashun, some of thems gets a bit involved in the milking the cows and practices shearing sheep and things, others just be drinking fosters and other beer and squishing mozzies.So we is staying there, which is taking up mosts of the rooms, but there is anuther guest here, he is a cowboy or summin, he is wearing like a cowboy hat, and chewing a bit of straw, but I is thinking he is a bit too hefty to be ridings a horse, he is telling us he is from texas, he is talking lots and lots, about all da things he has, I think his daddy has a farm or something back homes, anyways like I is saying this guy is a bragger, if you has it he has it bigger, if you has seen it, he saw it first, you know da sorts I mean.Well one mornings the farmer took us outs to have a look round his farm, first he shows us his big wheat field, I is amazed, it is enormous, but the texan says, back in texas, we have fields ten times as big as that.The farmer sucked his teeth and moved on to show us his prized cattle, back in Texas we have cows ten times as big as those, the Texan sneered.We carried on walking, the texan still bragging about back home, when all of a sudden a 'herd' of kangaroos hopped by. The Texan stopped in his tracks, "my word , what on earth is that???" he exclaimed... the farmer smirked, looked at hime, and said " Don't tell me you dont have grasshoppers back in Texas".
Love Gordie
# posted by gilly : 11:32 PM
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
WHATS THIS ALL ABOUT THEN?Ok, I is not a virgin, and I is not silly enough to says I does not enjoy a good masturbation session, and I is not even saying I has never used toys or anything else to enhance my activity ad enjoyments, but whats this all abouts then???Maybe it is for if you has your hands tied up..literally, or busy with something else, like maybe driving or turning the pages of a porn mag, or eating dinner, I is not sure, or maybe its for if you haves hurt your wrists or hands, or maybes your hands just wont reach, or maybe its cos the user is just a lazy w*nker? I is not sure.
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click the picture for more pictures.. not for the easily offended.
# posted by gilly : 11:48 AM
Friday, April 16, 2004
I has been sat in a bar with a group of da locals, three, big guys, they all has a eye for the ladies, and are talkings about how they keep their ladies happy. The first one is a clean cut guy, he is working in an office, and is kindof suffisticated yo knows, he is one of those modern mens, he says that after he has been making love to his lady, he lays down next to her, and smears her body with syrup, and carefully, very slowly licks it off her, she gets so excited she raises centimeters off the bed, he says. Not wanting to be out done the second guy, in his trendy clothes, says, well after I has made love to my lady, I cover her with strawberries and cream, and slowly, sensually, eat them off her body. She gets so excited and is in so much ecstacy she raises feet off the bed. You great gullaws, says the third man,a rough looking, unshaved guy, thats nothing, after shagging my sheila, I wipe my dick on the curtain and SHE HITS THE ROOF!!!!!
# posted by gilly : 2:15 PM
I has been reading the newspapers whilst I has been her in the land down under, here is one of the things that I has read about.
It takes allsorts, but then, can you really put your hand where it matters and say you isnt a wanker, or that you has never been a wanker?
When I woz shown this I was laughing, that woz goods, cos I hads been a little bits worried about coming to Oz, I is knowing it was going to have lots to see, and the peoples I had seen on home and away and neighbours are really nice, mosts of them, the ones in prisoner cell blockH leaves a lot to be desired, buts then they have Kylie, and shes hot tottie. Butm I has come across a couples of australians, that had clouded my view a littles bit, I hads tried hard to not let it make me tar all australians with the same brush, and so I didn'ts, I put it down to these peoples being idiotic, racists, uptheirownasses, bigotted fools, irrespective of their place of birth or where they live, I is thinking they would be pretty much the same. Howevers you see, what made me wonder, woz that they seemingly try to justify their bigottry, calling it Aussie humour, that is misunderstoods, well , excuse me, and tie mi kangaroo down sport, buts there is no excuse for racism and bigotry and stuffs like that. it can't be justified, try as you might, its wrong... and thats why I has also not tarred all australians with da same brush. But I digress, thats what happens when someone gets my goat, no I has not got a goat really, it is just a term that means summin, don't call the police, my goat has not been stolen. So anyways, I woz reading the papers, and I also reads an article, which woz not amusing. Infacts it is not nice at all, and is a bit scarey I would imagine for somes people. You might think we has come along way in employees rights and equal opportunities and in many ways I is thinking that is true, sometimes I don't gets a job and I say is it becoz I is a camel, and they say no it is becoz you is a twat, so that eez fair enuff. So I is thinking its not right to discriminate on grounds of race, gender, and sexual orientation, or is it still allowed in some places...whether it is allowed or not, it is wrong!!! maybe I shoulds be finding outs about discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation, I is thinking maybe even where this is wrong, it is done, and people are discriminated against for these reasons, buts I thinks it is a bit more complicated for employers now, and they has to think of another excuse, to hide that. But anyways, I digress again, but backs to the point, I woz reading this article from the british newspaper..the observer... you cans read it also by clicking the headline
Bondage hobby lands man with another sort of discipline I don'ts know about you, but I think this is digusting, the implied message it is giving is bollox.
Well on that note I is going to go for a dip, and eye some tottie, and I will writes more later
Love Gordie xxx
# posted by gilly : 12:18 PM
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Well I hads a good thinks about those camels, and I woz a little disturbed about them walking up and downs the beach, with allsorts of peoples sitting on them, with their sweaty crotches and sticky thighs. So I woz thinking I shoulds try to do somethings about it, maybe set up a campaign to free the camels, get peoples to sign petitions and things.
I woz not too sure how to go about this so, I woz thinking the best thing woulds be to infiltrate the group, sneaks in, unnoticed, and chat to the other camels, finds out what it is they want, and work out a plan to helps them escape.It woulds be dangerous, if I was seen I woulds probably be tied up myself, and heaven knows what else they might do not make me part of the troope. This called for a night without hairgel, no sunshades, no designer clothes.... just me Gordie, in da buff.
Well I is waiting til it is dark, and I sneaks into the compound where the camels are kept at night, everyone is turning round and lookings at me, it must be cos I is in da buff.
I chatteds to a few of the guys, and then a lady caught my eye, she was starings at me, with a glint in her eye.So I decides to go and chat with her, I stopped being tense, and worried about being in da buff, and there woz no sign of peoples. So the lady, she is taking me for a walk, and we talks for ages, sitting chattings, she is telling me about life in Broome, they is not wanting to be escaping and going back to rummaging around deserts for some water, they is happy, they have the sun, and the sea, and sometimes some breeze, they has plenty of water and food, they gets some days off each week, they has a nice place to sleep, and she is saying they is very happy. I is happy that they are being treated good, but I is now a little sad, cos I is thinking this is the totty of my dreams, we gots on so well, her little cameltoes were so softs, her lips so lush, she was just so yummy. Saying good bye wasn't easy, even though we hads only just met, butshe woz telling me I should leaves before it gots light, unless I wanted to be seen and stay there forever too. It was tempting, buts I have so much to see, I is thinking though, that after my travels, maybe I will return to Broome, and maybes stay there til the sun comes up, and get caught.
Love Gordie xx
# posted by gilly : 2:46 PM
Friday, April 09, 2004
Well, like I saids we is looking for the totty who might be able to helps us find my relashun, Abdul.
We woz travelling in a fried out combie, on a hippie trail, head full of zombie, when we comes across a strange lady, she woz making me nervous, but she took us into her house and is making us breakfast, and then she is saying ... "Do you comes from the land down under? Where women grow and mens plunder? Can't you hear, cant you hear the thunder? You better run and take cover"
I is even more nervous nows, I is not able to hear any thunder, it is not looking rainy or storming at all, I is thinking she is a bit mad. It woz remindings me of buying bread from a man in Brussels, he woz 6 foot 4 and full of muscles, I woz sayings to him, can you speaking my language, and he woz just smiling and giving me a vegemite sandwich, and then he saids, "I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chnder. Can't you hear? can't you hear the thunder? You better run , you better take cover" All I woz aksing woz do you speak englush, but I woz getting all this, and was a bit taken aback, cos again it woz a sunny day, and there woz no thunder, and I wanted bread for toast, and got this nasty sandwich. It could have only been more off putting if I hads been Lying in a den in bombay, with a slack jaw and not much to say, until a mans comes up and I say, are you trying to tempt me cos i is from the land of plenty, and he woulds say, " do you comes from the land down under, where womens glow and men plunder, can't you hear? can't you hear the thunder, you better run, you better take cover."
Well we finish our breakfast with the mad woman, who keeps going on about thunder, we says thank you to here, and get back on the trail, she has not been able to help us with our quest, but maybe this thunder business is some sort of hidden clue.
Love Gordie
# posted by gilly : 12:27 PM
BROOME
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Whoooooooooo hoooooooooooo here we are, having fun in
Broome, you might ask why we are here, so lets me be telling you, we has come here on a mission you knows, I has heard that one of my contacts is here in broome at the moments, you may remember sometimes ago is is receiving mails about a camels called Abdul who might be one of my relashuns, (
look here to read abouts all that).. well I has it on good authority that there is some totty here in broome, who is might be abling to help me get to the bottom of it, I has to find her yets though, which might be difficult, I has to be carefuls when I is chatting to the totty tryings to find her, I is not wanting anyones to think I is a stalker.
Broome is at the northern tip of Western Australia, a state the size of Western Europe. Its chief attraction is the 22km of Cable Beach, said to be among the best in the world. It gets busier towards town and there is an area for nudists. As well as enjoying the sea and sun, you can take a camel ride on the beach
See I has founds this in a brochure and so I is thinking thats maybe where Abdul is, or someone who is knowing Abduls, buts I has to be careful, cos if nots it could be the camel riding pack grows in numbers, and we has our passports removed and finds ourselves living the rests of our lives treading the beach, underneath the sweaty arses of tourists, grabbing onto our humps, pulling our hair, and the only bits of fun we have will be when we take opprotune moments to jolt the rider off as we sit down or stand up...... thsts not for me... and if it is I can see my relashuns, and get them aways safely, I wills be doing that.. or my name isn't Gordie.
# posted by gilly : 11:52 AM
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I is reliably told that it gets hotter than this, this isnt the summer, but lets me tell you this is lovely and hot.it is easy to see though that the 'natives' are used to the good weather all of the year. Not like us brits, you know we are used to maybe 2 weeks good weather a year, and another two if we goes to ibiza or somewhere hot on vacashun. So cos it isn't something natural to us, cos it is some sort of phenomenom, we is not knowing how to react. The peoples here are just getting on with it, nothing out of the ordinary, whilst us brits, back home, we gets all hysterical when we has a sunny week.I thinks there isa name for it SED ... not SAD which is seasonally adjusted depression, but SED seun exposure dementia.The symptoms are widespread and very recognisable..... and ver disturbings to say the least. The totty girls are suffering from severe colour blindness, and an inability to estimate clothes or body size. This manifests itself in the widespread wearing of garish, illfitting garmebts, such as neon boob tubes, rara skirts..floral of course, and so on. Men are not symptom free, they wear things like socks and sandals,, and go around topless tucking their t shirt into the waist of their ill fitting shorts for coolness. The stylishness of winter and spring, is all forgotten in these mad few weeks, when copious amounts of flesh are exposed, milky white, until of course it turns lobster red. Some are lucky and the white turns to beige. But here are many bronzed bodies, and not many fashion faux pas.. well I has seen some nasty bermuda shorts and shirts, but that might just be brits on tour hehehe, anyways, I is going to go do a spot of clothes shopping, and I is gonna be writing to you soon.
Love Gordie xx
# posted by gilly : 11:04 AM
Friday, April 02, 2004
Well maties, we are now on our way to Aus. yep I is writing this email whilst flying, I is not mean I am flying, we are on da plane. Sid is now over his phobia of flying, and all da boys are sleeping or drinking.
We had a bit of a delay in the airport, our flight was cancelled, so we woz all standing in a big queue waitings to be booked onto another flight, well everyones is being very patient, grumbling a bit but still not getting bitchy. Well until, some posh dude in a suit is pushing to the front of the queue and shouting at the nice lady trying to help us. he slammed his hands on the desk, you have to get me onto that flight, and first class, he bellowed. Going all red in da face. First class huh, he should be with the cargo he is such trash, shouting and making a scene.... The nice lady looked at him and said, Sir I will do my best but I have to deal with all of these people in the queue first. he is not liking this,he bashed his fist onto the desk, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?????? he shouted, going redder.... the nice lady, calmly, smiled, picked up the public address microphone and said ... We have a gentleman at the front desk who has forgotten who he is, if anyone can help him please step forward. I nearly peed myself, whilst this guy , gets even redder and shouts FookYou, and scuttles off, hearing the nice lady say, you have to get in the queue for that too Sir.
I is happy to say this rude dude is sat in standard class, near the back, in an aisle seat, and seems to be the only person that the air stewards are knocking into as they walk by, he is the only one too who has had coffee dripped on him and has a reading light that don't work... and to make it more bearable he is sittings next to an old geezer who has not shut up all way.
Will write more from Australia.
Love Gordie xx
# posted by gilly : 2:12 PM
